Thank you, Dr Seuss: Oh! The things that you’ll grow!

So far, we have only bought one thing Beetle related, for fear of tempting fate. However, I’m pleased to announce that the one thing is a compendium of Dr Seuss stories.

Although it will be a good few years until he will be able to appreciate it, one of my favourites is ‘Oh, the Places you’ll go’.

So, with very heavy thanks to Dr Seuss, I thought I would present the gardener’s version of this lovely story…

 

Oh, the things that you’ll grow

 

Horticulture

That’s the thing that we do

When we’re growing plants

It’s such great fun too!

 

You have twigs in your hair

You have mud on your shoes

You can plant what you want

Anything that you choose.

 

It’s up to you. And you’ll grow what you grow

And you are the gardener who’ll decide where they’ll go.

 

You’ll examine the pots. Look ‘em over with care

Some will be scrawny, half dead, so it pays to beware

With your head full of plans and your boot full of pots

You’re too smart to buy any with mildews or rots.

 

And you may not like any

That you’d want to feed,

In that case, of course,

You can grow them from seed.

 

There’s a lot more to choose

What have you to lose?

 

In seed catalogues and websites

You’ll so often find

There’s so many to choose from

You’ll go out of your mind.

 

And when you start clicking

On ‘buy these now’

Don’t start counting pennies,

That’ll furrow your brow.

 

Oh! THE THINGS THAT YOU’LL GROW!

 

You’ll be knee deep in compost!

You’ll dream of seedlings!

You’ll think that you’re queen of

All the green things.

 

They won’t grow straggly, because they’ll have the light.

They’ll grow oh so strongly, gain vigour and height.

Whatever you grow, you’ll get the best of the crop.

Whatever you sow, it just won’t want to stop.

 

Except when it don’t

Because, sometimes, it won’t.

 

I’m sorry to say so,

But sadly it’s true,

That damp off

And die off

Can happen to you.

 

You can get all het up

About seedlings that collapse

And your compost that dries out

Producing hard-to-break caps.

 

You’ll forget to pot on

So plant roots will coil round

So when you do plant them,

They’ll just die in the ground.

 

You’ll start to avoid

The greenhouse or plot

You’re embarrassed to look at

Those plants you forgot.

 

You’ll start to lose face

And your poor pot bound Queen Anne’s Lace

Will long to find its roots in a place

But for now it is sat in a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

 

...For seedlings just waiting.

Waiting for a drop of rain

Or towards the light to crane

Or to move to the cold frame

Or for the waterlog to drain

Poor plants just waiting.

 

NO!

That’s not their fate!

 

Somehow you’ll catch up

On all that pricking and potting

You’ll find the sun shines

And stops damping and rotting.

 

Oh the things that you’ll grow! There are beds to be dug!

There are mulches to spread. There is water to lug!

And the beautiful flowers that you’ll see unfurl

Will make you the happiest gardening girl.

 

Success! The plants will grow and grow,

With the help of your weed-crushing hoe.

 

And will your plants succeed?

Yes! They will, indeed!

Flowers and produce success guaranteed!