So far, we have only bought one thing Beetle related, for fear of tempting fate. However, I’m pleased to announce that the one thing is a compendium of Dr Seuss stories.
Although it will be a good few years until he will be able to appreciate it, one of my favourites is ‘Oh, the Places you’ll go’.
So, with very heavy thanks to Dr Seuss, I thought I would present the gardener’s version of this lovely story…
Oh, the things that you’ll grow
That’s the thing that we do
When we’re growing plants
It’s such great fun too!
You have twigs in your hair
You have mud on your shoes
You can plant what you want
Anything that you choose.
It’s up to you. And you’ll grow what you grow
And you are the gardener who’ll decide where they’ll go.
You’ll examine the pots. Look ‘em over with care
Some will be scrawny, half dead, so it pays to beware
With your head full of plans and your boot full of pots
You’re too smart to buy any with mildews or rots.
And you may not like any
That you’d want to feed,
In that case, of course,
You can grow them from seed.
There’s a lot more to choose
What have you to lose?
In seed catalogues and websites
You’ll so often find
There’s so many to choose from
You’ll go out of your mind.
And when you start clicking
On ‘buy these now’
Don’t start counting pennies,
That’ll furrow your brow.
Oh! THE THINGS THAT YOU’LL GROW!
You’ll be knee deep in compost!
You’ll dream of seedlings!
You’ll think that you’re queen of
All the green things.
They won’t grow straggly, because they’ll have the light.
They’ll grow oh so strongly, gain vigour and height.
Whatever you grow, you’ll get the best of the crop.
Whatever you sow, it just won’t want to stop.
Except when it don’t
Because, sometimes, it won’t.
I’m sorry to say so,
But sadly it’s true,
That damp off
And die off
Can happen to you.
You can get all het up
About seedlings that collapse
And your compost that dries out
Producing hard-to-break caps.
You’ll forget to pot on
So plant roots will coil round
So when you do plant them,
They’ll just die in the ground.
You’ll start to avoid
The greenhouse or plot
You’re embarrassed to look at
Those plants you forgot.
You’ll start to lose face
And your poor pot bound Queen Anne’s Lace
Will long to find its roots in a place
But for now it is sat in a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...
...For seedlings just waiting.
Waiting for a drop of rain
Or towards the light to crane
Or to move to the cold frame
Or for the waterlog to drain
Poor plants just waiting.
That’s not their fate!
Somehow you’ll catch up
On all that pricking and potting
You’ll find the sun shines
And stops damping and rotting.
Oh the things that you’ll grow! There are beds to be dug!
There are mulches to spread. There is water to lug!
And the beautiful flowers that you’ll see unfurl
Will make you the happiest gardening girl.
Success! The plants will grow and grow,
With the help of your weed-crushing hoe.
And will your plants succeed?
Yes! They will, indeed!
Flowers and produce success guaranteed!