Friday, August 24, 2012


Hmm. You know when you get something stuck in your teeth, and you have to keep niggling away at it with your tongue? Or when you've got a bite, and you know you mustn't scratch it even though it itches like crazy. You still have to scratch it.

At the moment, this is how I feel about Gardeners' World. Hence my return to the topic after Nigel the Dog's guest post.

To be honest, I think that one needs a little incentive to watch this programme nowadays. And so in a state of reckless abandon, I suggest the Gardeners' World Drinking Game*. It should make the programme more interesting, and if it doesn't, you'll be too blotto to care.

Drinking Game rules:

Have one gulp of your drink (or if you are really going for it, one shot) for each successfully met condition:

Monty sayings:

- "Here at Longmeadow"
- "Time to trim the hedges"
- any mention of blanket weed in the pond
- any mention of non-use of chemicals (NOTE: for die-hard drink-along-a-Monty gamers, this should be accompanied by downing a cocktail made up of the most virulent-coloured, additive enhanced cocktail you can make. Or a Kia-Ora)
- any mention of compost heaps (a double shot if accompanied by either his love of compost, or by mentioning that he lawn-mowers it)

Camera shots:

- Any appearance of Nigel Dog - should also be accompanied by a loud "Woof woof!"
- Close-up of flower with Monty working, out of focus, in the background
- Shot of pristine garden tools on the shed wall - you know the ones - the dozen different trowels)

If you're teetotal, and have access to a laptop, you might prefer to follow the programme on Twitter, with the hashtag #shoutyhalfhour (via @saralimback) - always entertaining.

Let me know if you have any other conditions you think are worth adding to the rules.


*Though, as a responsible mother, I will be gulping on orange juice rather than gin).