Friday, August 24, 2012


Hmm. You know when you get something stuck in your teeth, and you have to keep niggling away at it with your tongue? Or when you've got a bite, and you know you mustn't scratch it even though it itches like crazy. You still have to scratch it.

At the moment, this is how I feel about Gardeners' World. Hence my return to the topic after Nigel the Dog's guest post.

To be honest, I think that one needs a little incentive to watch this programme nowadays. And so in a state of reckless abandon, I suggest the Gardeners' World Drinking Game*. It should make the programme more interesting, and if it doesn't, you'll be too blotto to care.

Drinking Game rules:

Have one gulp of your drink (or if you are really going for it, one shot) for each successfully met condition:

Monty sayings:

- "Here at Longmeadow"
- "Time to trim the hedges"
- any mention of blanket weed in the pond
- any mention of non-use of chemicals (NOTE: for die-hard drink-along-a-Monty gamers, this should be accompanied by downing a cocktail made up of the most virulent-coloured, additive enhanced cocktail you can make. Or a Kia-Ora)
- any mention of compost heaps (a double shot if accompanied by either his love of compost, or by mentioning that he lawn-mowers it)

Camera shots:

- Any appearance of Nigel Dog - should also be accompanied by a loud "Woof woof!"
- Close-up of flower with Monty working, out of focus, in the background
- Shot of pristine garden tools on the shed wall - you know the ones - the dozen different trowels)

If you're teetotal, and have access to a laptop, you might prefer to follow the programme on Twitter, with the hashtag #shoutyhalfhour (via @saralimback) - always entertaining.

Let me know if you have any other conditions you think are worth adding to the rules.


*Though, as a responsible mother, I will be gulping on orange juice rather than gin).


Vintage to Victorian said...

Just seen reference to this via @saralimback. Perfect addition to #shoutyhalfhour. I think my tipple will be the dregs of the Bacardi bottle tonight.

So pleased to have found you!


Karen - An Artists Garden said...

Excellant - A reason to watch gardeners world, I shall do that immediately

Compostwoman said...

Remove the compost mentions ( one can NEVER mention compost, enough in my opinion!)

and I am with you in the game :-)

Victoria Summerley said...

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!
Yes, remove the compost mentions, because otherwise I will be squiffy five minutes in. He's ALWAYS banging on about his bloody compost. And if I see one more shot of those posh compost bins, I'm going to drive over to Herefordshire and throw up all over them.

Anna said...

Oh what fun HM but have to admit that I would have to stick to soft drinks or coffee. A combination of Monty and alcohol would definitely send me gently to sleep. I will pay extra attention next Friday :)
P.S. Reminds me of a game we used to play in weekly staff meetings many moons ago - so many points for certain words/phrases falling from our manager's lips - made the meetings pass more quickly. Alcohol free of course.

Heather - Outdoor Furniture Centre said...

Gardeners' World? Do they still do that ;-)

It would need to be a Jager Bomb every time.

Only one or two misdemeanors are required for utter disorientation.

HappyMouffetard said...

Sue - ahhh, Bacardi - haven't had that since I became a legal drinker. Happy days :-)

Karen - and one always needs a good reason to watch nowadays.

Compostwoman - I suspect bias in your name - one can get a little *too* excited by compost

Victoria - being squiffy makes the half hour pass much more merrily. So I vote for keeping it in.

Anna - No!! Not coffee! You'll have so much caffeine you'll never sleep again.

Heather - Jager Bombs - that's hardcore!

Jean said...

Haha..just watched tonight's Gardeners' World and counted quite a few of them, especially the pristine trowels in the potting shed! Great blog btw, I've recently become a born-again gardener :)